Self Observation and Body Structure

So, to be real with you, I'm just gonna go through the questions Tim posted because right now I have so much running around in my mind, and while this information is really enlightening, and interesting, I'm having a hard time setting aside enough of my attention to process and contemplate it. I like the time we get to make in class to be present and just think about what we're talking about. I wish I had more time, to indulge in that very nowness that we talk about in class. Right now, with shows and homework and responsibilities I am always in the future.

But here's the answers Tim asked for at least.

1: The most important thing you can do that no one can help you do, is to observe yourself as if everything you do is happening to someone else, to go without judgement and or personalization and simply observe.

2: Self observation is without judgement or expectation of the results you find. There's no judgement or desire to fix in just looking at yourself and seeing yourself; self absorption is a more judgmental, scrutinizing look at oneself.

3: We suffer because we are constantly looking at ourselves and our lives, and directly identifying with the issues that come our way. We believe we must fix things within ourselves and around us, rather than being who we are and accepting what life brings us. The need to fix is a constant pressure, and when we suffer a difficult time instead of recognizing that our selves are not the problem, we directly identify ourselves AS the problem. The video talks about this particularly in saying " I am depressed." Yes, the depression is a problem, a thing that comes into life and passes by, but that does not mean that YOU are the depression, that YOU must be fixed. You are EXPERIENCING a depression, and it does not have a tarnishing effect on who you are as a whole. This misunderstanding brings a lot of grief.

4: The video explains that while emotions and situations and all things in life are like clouds, we are the clear blue sky, unaffected by the clouds even though they are present. These things do not last forever, but the sky does, the sky is always there, clouds or not, thus who you are is always present and whole and as it is with or without situation or emotion.

5: I'm not entirely sure what you mean by this question.

6: What you judge, you cannot understand.

7:
I think it's a very interesting and difficult thing to consider with identification of self the way we do it, " I am depressed", there is suffering, but there is also a label and a comfort zone in that. I think the challenge comes in finding ones self if you're going to apply this method to your thoughts. When I think of it, and I say " If I am not angry, if I am only experiencing anger, than what am I?" and What am I.... that is a terrifying question.

I think when it comes to personality traits that's another grey area in this idea, because what he talks about is more about situations and emotions. Certainly traits of a person's personality can fluctuate with the passing of time, we all change eventually with age and experience, but it's hard to wrap my head around " I am experiencing assertiveness" or " I am experiencing an affectionate manner." Because those are things I feel are truly part of Me- that I am assertive, that I am strong, that I am affectionate. But if this philosophy applies to personality traits in the same way as it does emotions and all of those thing are stripped away to the passing of time like clouds on a blue sky, than what am I?

1: We compress and react in fight or flight when we experience stress, which in the modern world is an ineffective and unnecessary response.

2: The Alexander technique enables us to choose a different response to our stresses and circumstances.

3: Nature would prefer us to be in balance.

4: The outside of the foot nearest to the pinky toe, the base of the big toe, and the heel.

5: Ankles, Knees and Hips.

6:  Deep between the crest of your hip bone and the pubic bone.

7: An anchor.

8: Between the ears, behind the eyes.

9: We talk a lot about how your breath is the connection between your body and your mind, but I think personally that our nerve endings are the connection between the world and our brains. The way we process pleasure, pain and all sensations is unique to each of us, and with those sensations we analyse and experience the world with our minds. Even when focusing on breath, it is not in counting the breaths, or the direction of the breath that we find center and focus, but in the feeling of our lungs expanding and our skin shifting to stretch around our ribs, in our stomachs expanding and our lower back stretching-- the sensations we normally don't notice unless directed to do so. A burn from a stove or a kiss on the cheek connects us to the world through what I think is our most vital sense. Touch.

This is Some Seriously Deep Stuff

So after watching these videos assigned to us, I'm honestly at a loss with what to say. I think the reason for that is because a lot of this philosophy kind of derails everything in my life, everything I do every day, and the way our society functions. I actually thought to myself, while considering the ideas given, " Am I really living?" I mean, I've always been a really goal oriented, future thinking person-- it's true that that's how we're raised as a people, always in preparation. We're taught to prepare more than anything else. And I never really saw that as a bad thing until well, just now. I definitely understand being in the moment, experiencing the moment fully and without judgement for it, but with a lack of preparation for the moment after that moment is kind of...unfathomable. I think that these concepts need to be explained a little more, because this is a lot to swallow, you know?

I appreciate the videos, but I think this is something I'd like to discuss-- but then, it's also such a broad and intensive topic-- are you really living? God, what a question.

I think my favorite thing about the videos, and what I understood best, was the aspect of living being spontaneous. That no matter who's life you look at, that's true and no matter how planned you try to be or how convinced you are that you're living for a specific purpose in some far off future, you have your most amazing moments when you are simply in the moment, alive, and acting on your truest impulses. The moments I think of, personally, are when I'm on a roller coaster and I take in a deep breath to scream on the drop down. Or someone making a joke and laughing unabashedly. Or deciding I want to do something or I like someone regardless of what other people think of it. It's just... being who you are. Reacting to the world just as it is right then. That's living.

Rio